Fight or Fall Read online

  Her head moved lower and I felt her mouth press a kiss to my rib cage.

  “I’m great at baseball, taekwondo, and soccer, but swimming…I was only good at it.” She tilted her head and I glimpsed at her amazing eyes, eyes that made me feel lost and found at the same time. Lost because the way she looked at me; it’s caring, passion, thoughtfulness, and desire all in one. Found because she guides me, helps me make better choices without forcing me, without her knowing it.

  I bent my head and gave her a long, slow kiss. A kiss she welcomed with equal parts fervor and languid craving. Sex with Ava was off-the-charts. But it was more than that. It wasn’t just sex. It was the way she gives in to me, demands me, and responds to me. Like her body was made for me. Every time I was inside her, I’d get this feeling that I’d want to be the only man to ever be inside of her, and I would fucking kill anyone else who would want to gain entry.

  “You’re distracting me…” she murmured against my lips. “Keeping my legs closed.” She locked her legs together to prove a point.

  She detached her mouth from mine, lightly rubbing a fingertip against my lips.

  I sat back up, my hand drifting to her arm, rubbing her gently against the silk.

  “I’d definitely change the way I handled things with Kieran. I love swimming. But I haven’t swam for months because I don’t feel like I deserve to be doing something that I loved when I’m the one who caused, ah, tainted the sport with my own actions.”

  I reached for the small glass of water by the bedside table and drank half the glass. That restaurant must have served some salty shit because I’ve been thirsty since we left the restaurant and checked in at Hotel Movado, one of Arizona’s newest hotel/resorts. I’d picked it because from the information I’d gleaned from Daria, Ava hadn’t been here yet. She looked like she really liked it because she was oohing and aahing at the big-ass chandeliers in the lobby and the overall Arabian nights’ theme of the hotel. If she wasn’t so tired and if it wasn’t so late, I’d have brought her to the balcony so we could view the amazing scenery of the city that the lady at the front desk was drooling about.

  “I’ll keep fighting, Ava. I have to. But my heart’s not in it. My heart’s in the water. Fighting brings out the worst in me. It also relieves me of insurmountable anger and pain without having to go to jail for it.”

  “Why do you fight then?”

  “Because I signed a contract,” I replied evasively.

  “What made you sign it?” she prodded, elevating her toes to stretch.

  “I’ll show you...one day, I’ll show you,” I stated, fully knowing I will keep that promise. “For now I’m just asking you to understand.”

  I knew it hurt her when I fought. She’s told me several times that each punch, each kick that lands on my body hurt her too.

  “Does it have anything to do with Dia?” Her voice was sharp, acerbic.

  I saw her back stiffen, straighten, and her neck bowed, cocooned closer to my chest.

  “Yeah…it does,” I admitted. I made sure that Ava understood that there were no personal feelings or remnants of those for Dia by disinviting Dia from future fight nights and maintaining that business relationship with Dia. E-mails, calls, texts were kept to a minimum unless we were discussing how the additional funds were to be distributed.

  After five seconds of silence, she sighed. “Okay. I understand… trying to understand. I just don’t want her around, especially if I’m not there.” She didn’t have to say it out loud, but her gray eyes flared with annoyance and her nose puffed out in disgust the few times she heard me talking on the phone with Dia.

  The last thing she’d ever have to worry about was me grazing out to other pastures. Ava was the finest steak, the elusive treasure. I wouldn’t dare fuck it up with my cheating ex or any other woman for that matter. “You have nothing to worry about. She’s in the past. The past for me remains buried in the past.”

  She let out a long sigh. “When you’re ready to tell me why, I’m here, okay?”

  I ran a hand along her smooth cheek. “I know.”

  She burrowed her body closer, tighter against mine and in a matter of minutes, her light, soft snores resonated in the room and after turning the bedside lamp off, I found myself following her lead. Again.

  Around two thirty in the morning, as the small alarm clock by the bed showed that I just happened to check with my blurry eyes, I felt her hands drifting lower, her fingers massaging my hardening erection. It only took a few seconds for me to respond to her touch.

  In the darkness she pleaded while pulling my boxers down to my legs, “I need you inside me.”

  Many nights when Ava slept over, she’d wake me up, wanting to be close, yearning to be connected to me. It was as if even in sleep, she wanted me. In the mornings, I’d find her still sleeping after I’d completed my morning workouts and I’d wake her up with my tongue. It always ended up with me inside her and each time still felt like the first time. The end result was always amazing.

  I reached for a condom by the small table and handed it to her. As soon as she had me completely wrapped, I helped her take off her pajamas and pushed her silk panties to the side. She was already slick, wet, slippery, and extremely aroused – it was all evident when she straddled me, taking me to the hilt without any difficulty.

  When her gasps became shorter, the hitch in her voice became higher, and when the feeling of my dick being inside her unbearable, overwhelming, and overpowering, I flicked her clit with my finger, rubbing it, stroking it as she let out a prolonged moan.

  “Ohhhh…”

  She grabbed my left hand and brought it to her breast. I massaged her nipples, lavishing each breast with equal attention and finally, I felt her tighten, clamping inside me. Bringing my hand to her mouth, I pried it open with my thumb. “Suck it, baby…”

  She sucked my thumb slowly at first then as my grip on her hip became forceful, fiercer, her teeth bit on my thumb harder. The pressure of her teeth and the suction of her mouth sent me spiraling into bliss, “Ahhhh, yeah, oh fuck yeah. Baby, you’re so good.” I couldn’t help the words that came out of me every single time. I felt her inner walls contract, grind, and pulse against my cock and suddenly I couldn’t hold it anymore. I emptied myself inside the condom, her heat enveloping me the whole time.

  She lowered herself to me, splaying her hands across my chest, and gave a satisfied sigh.

  Her head just below my chin, her hands around my chest, me still inside of her, I couldn’t think of any place better to be in.

  She belonged right here. With me.

  When your boyfriend is a daredevil, a thrill-seeker, you have no choice but go along for the ride.

  Actually, I did have a choice. He’s never forced me into doing anything, but he’d been extremely excited to take me to new heights, literally and figuratively, that I couldn’t find it in me to say no.

  I’ve never been scared of heights. Rollercoasters, free falls (in enclosed spaces), and cliff diving in Australia and Switzerland – I’ve experienced them all head on, feet planted softly on the ground after, and no regrets.

  But this was another level of a thrill ride.

  “Baby, you don’t have to do this,” Milo stated, his green eyes flashing worriedly. Today he was wearing a dark green shirt that made his eyes look deeper green and loose fitting jeans that failed to hide his delectable butt. I had given him a few butt slaps when he came out of the shower in all his naked glory. He didn’t possess an ounce of shame in hiding his body. He had nothing to hide. His body was a tribute to his training regimen, the supreme athleticism and raw power he possessed, and years of pushing his physical limits, whether it be in the pool, the gym, or now in the fighting arena.

  He set the car to park, opened my door, and held my hand as we walked inside the Thrill Rides’ building.

  I gripped his hand tightly and reassured him, “I want to do this. I’m nervous, but I really want to do this.”

  He’d sprung the news
on me last night after a wonderful dinner at Clovers Inn. He’d promised Leif they were going to hang out just like old times when he was in town. Kite-boarding, surfing, flyboarding, bungee jumping…skydiving. Initially, they were going bungee jumping, but apparently the weather was great for skydiving this time of the year. He wanted me to maybe watch or wait for him on solid ground while he and Leif went skydiving. I refused to be left out of the fun so I’d invited myself and he seemed too happy to oblige.

  Technically he wasn’t supposed to be involved in any high risk activities such as bungee jumping or sky diving, but we weren’t in Vegas. My father wasn’t around to monitor his activities. Plus, it was something that Milo loved to do. I would not be hindering him from doing something he loved.

  Since this morning during breakfast when he saw that I didn’t eat much of my wheat toast that he’d buttered up for me, he has been trying to convince me not to go. Milo’s become attuned to my moods – he knew when I was feeling on the edge or when I was thinking twice about something. But I wasn’t budging. If he could do it, I could do it too. Sure, my legs may be shaking, and my insides might be churning like a blender, but Milo wouldn’t recommend for me to go skydiving if it wasn’t safe.

  Stepping inside the building, we walked towards a small desk where a young blonde was standing on the side. She was wearing a red shirt with the TR logo on the front that was five sizes too small for her chest and white short shorts that must have spent way too much time in the dryer. Her blue eyes lit up and her mouth could have accommodated the entire Grand Canyon with the smile she gave Milo.

  Hello, I’m not invisible. I am standing right here with him!

  “Milo! It’s been a long time!” she exclaimed, her top riding higher, exposing her barely there bra and, yuck, why she even wore a top was a mystery!

  Milo didn’t let go of his hold on my waist as we neared Miss Blondie.

  He gave her a small smile. “Hey Elle, nice to see you here.” He turned his head towards me, ignoring Elle’s attempt at showing off her goods, and touched my cheek with his left hand. “Is Janine here today?”

  Elle’s smile slowly faded. Milo had a way of not being subtle when it came to dismissing women flirting with him.

  One time we were at Conelly’s and the hostess was giving him flirtatious glances and Milo flat out told her, “I think you should save that for someone else. It’s disrespectful to my girlfriend and to your place of business.” Needless to say, the hostess’ face went white, and Milo and I were left to the care of gracious servers and we had no future encounters with her. He didn’t beat around the bush. I didn’t think he did it or said these things because I was with him. It’s just the way he is, the way he’s born and bred, a one woman man. His ex-girlfriend, Dia, was a very stupid girl to let him go or to even cheat on him.

  Elle muttered in disappointment, “Yes, she is.” Handing Milo a clipboard with forms she instructed, “Here are the pre-jump documentation forms.”

  Milo let go of my waist. “Can I have two more? Leif is running late, but he’ll be here. I also need one for my girlfriend. By the way, Elle, this is Ava. It’s her first time and I’d really like Janine to tandem with her.”

  I graced her with a nod and a smile. “Nice to meet you, Elle.”

  “Hi, Ava. Welcome to Thrill Rides. Yeah, Janine’s here today and I’m pretty sure she’s available.” She grabbed a leaf of papers on the filing cabinet against the wall and handed it to Milo.

  “Thank you,” he replied. “I guess we’re early.”

  “A little.” Grabbing two pens from the black rotating desk organizer that held pens, pencils, scissors, and colorful paper clips, she handed two pens to Milo and gave me a tight smile.

  “Okay, thanks.”

  He led us to a bunch of chairs in what looked like the waiting area and handed me the waiver forms to sign.

  Reading the form, a bunch of words leapt out of the paper, Skydiving is dangerous; you may seriously be injured. You may die.

  Milo skimmed his own form. It was pretty evident he’s signed these many times.

  I didn’t have to do this. I could back out now. But I know that whatever these forms warned me of, he’d never purposefully put me in harm’s way. Nothing is for sure in life. There were no guarantees. But I would bet a hundred percent that if he had any doubt that I would not be safe, he would not bring me here.

  I signed the bottom of the form and looked up just in time to see Leif walking towards us.

  Leif was one of Milo’s closest friends and swimming partners. He was a highly decorated swimmer of German descent who now swam for the U.S. Team ever since he’d gotten his U.S. citizenship a few years back. Since Brynn and I are best friends, we hung out with Leif and Milo when Milo was in Arizona training for the World Championships. Leif was a boisterous, funny guy. He often came between Milo and I when I would throw some sort of disparaging remark or insult to Milo because Milo would make a comment about what I was wearing. Oh how things have changed.

  “Hey, gorgeous!” Leif called out when he was few steps in front of us.

  I stood up and he squeezed me into a bear hug. My light blue shorts hiked up my legs and my dark blue sneakers lifted off the floor. He was almost as tall as Milo, and it would seem that I weighed less than cotton with the way Milo and Leif easily lifted me.

  Milo smacked Leif in the arm. “Loosen her up, buddy. Can’t have my woman suffocating from a bear like you.”

  “Your woman, huh?” Leif’s blonde eyebrows rose and his eyes turned a mischievous shade of blue. He wasn’t lacking in the attractiveness department. He garnered a lot of attention from members of the female population. Whereas Milo was dark, tanned, with strikingly handsome features, Leif was sunny, loud, and all blonde hotness.

  Milo clasped my waist, pulling me closer to him while smirking at his friend. “Yeah.”

  Leif nodded and asked perceptively, “Ava, why would you waste your time on him when you can have someone like me?”

  I giggled. “I know, right?”

  Milo slapped Leif’s shoulder. “Shut up. Fill out your form. I can’t copy your chicken scratch signature.”

  The two bickered for a few minutes, and when a brunette whose age I’d guess to be about in the mid-40’s arrived, she good-naturedly interrupted the fun. “Alright boys. Time to fly.”

  Milo introduced her as Janine who was going to be my skydiving instructor. I immediately felt her warmth and she made me feel at ease when she said, “You can always say no, okay? Even when we’re up there. If you don’t feel like it, you don’t have to.”

  Milo gave her an appreciative smile. Apparently it was only the five of us today. Milo and Leif were experienced jumpers so they were going solo along with the older guy, Connor, who was also an instructor.

  We all watched a video on safety during dives and Janine and Connor briefed us on what to expect on the airplane, how to hold our bodies during free fall, opening the parachute, landing approach, and landing. Throughout the class, Milo held my hand. Leif kept sneaking glances at us and kept raising his right eyebrow and smirking.

  Upon our arrival at the drop zone, we all geared up in jumpsuits, soft helmets, goggles, and a harness for me that connected me to Janine’s equipment. I learned that I could actually jump with Milo, but he wanted me to be with an instructor who had more than two decades of experience. Basically he was experienced, but his main goal was my safety. He’d mentioned during the plane ride that one day that he’d love to jump with he and I in tandem.

  I had replied with, “Let me see how I feel with this first then we’ll talk about it.”

  As the plane took off, my jitters started materializing overtime. My teeth were chattering.

  Oh-jesus-holy-mother-of-high-heavens, why did I put myself in this position?

  Milo who was watching my expression the whole time leaned into me. I smelled his masculine scent, the shaving cream he’d used this morning was faint but there, his eyes lingered, and in a thoughtful, almos
t unremarkable whisper due to the loud sounds coming from the plane’s engine, he said, “It’s okay, Ava. Say no.”

  God, I loved him.

  He was giving me an out. A chance to keep my feet on solid ground. An opportunity to experience life just the way I have, with risks that I’m willing to take whenever, however I wanted to, at my own pace. The corners of my mouth lifted at their own accord. “I’m okay.”

  I’m scared but having him here reduced that fear to the size of the tiny outlines of the houses down below.

  The aircraft’s door opened. Leif was jumping first, then Connor, Janine and I, and Milo was last.

  The G-forces hit me as soon as the aircraft’s door opened. Leif gave a thumbs up sign, brought his hands to his chest, pumping his fists, and jumped. He wasn’t even screaming. All I heard was, “Yeah! Yeah!”